“Hello. My name is Jan, and I’m a blingaholic.” What bauble-loving woman isn’t, for crying out loud? The stuff is so easy to get my hands on; I mean it’s literally everywhere. Windows in jewelry storefronts twinkle as the mid-day sun refracts shiny silver, gold, gemstones and beads luring me in for a closer look. Sidewalk boutiques assemble tables outside their door to entice me with their lustrous little baubles. Why, I’ve nearly tripped over those tables on countless occasions when I was simply walking along minding my own business! I run into Target for cleaning supplies (yuck!) and the jewelry counter, strategically placed next to the checkout, is unavoidable. I stroll Saturday morning’s farmers market solely focused on scouring the produce stalls for fresh ingredients, and run smack dab into a half-dozen jewelry booths pedaling beautiful handmade bling. Damn the bad luck!
Alright already! Yes, I should probably enroll in a 12-step treatment program. But I really think I can get this little “problem” of mine under control by way of my own efforts. So in an attempt to curb my compulsion for all things bling, I recently acquiesced and agreed to follow Dr. Phil’s Seven Steps to Breaking Your Addiction. I’m rather certain, after all, that I’m just slightly addicted, and seven steps seem more relevant for my “condition” than a dozen. (Not the case with my cousin Sharon, who possesses more jewelry than a beach has sand. She has pieces tucked inside so many nooks and crannies in her home that she can’t remember where she’s stored them — now that woman needs a 12 step program for sure!) Okay Doc – here goes:
1. Acknowledge the Purpose. “I can use that fantastic Kendra Scott “Statement Necklace” to dress up at least a dozen outfits, and therefore maximize my wardrobe.”
2. Think rational thoughts instead of denial. “I really should use the money for groceries.”
3. Use alternative coping skills. “I’m going to distract myself from the necklace by exiting the store and returning an important voicemail I should have responded to yesterday.”
4. Identify your danger zones. “Uh oh; I just left the jewelry store and there’s an even better one across the street!”
5. Make lifestyle changes. “Fine – I’ll just stay home and wear sweats the rest of my life.”
6. Be accountable and have a support system. “I simply CANNOT tell my girlfriends that I walked away from the most divine statement necklace on the planet; they’ll chastise me! So when my fishing-addicted boyfriend arrives from his latest excursion, I’ll confide to him that I didn’t purchase the necklace even though I wanted it SOOOO badly. He’ll be very proud and supportive of me.”
7. Reward yourself. “I just purchased the most spectacular pair of shoes!” Joe’s ‘Pete’ Pointy Toe Pump. Dr. Phil would be so proud of me.